Famous and Funny Poker Quotes

"Poker is 100% skill and 50% luck." - Phil Hellmuth

"You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine." - TJ Cloutier

"Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser." - Stu Ungar

"Try to decide how good your hand is at a given moment. Nothing else matters. Nothing!" - Doyle Bunson

"You can shear a sheep a hundred times, but you can skin it only once." - Amarillo Slim

"Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who says he is, is either a liar or doesn't play poker." - Amarillo Slim

"These two have no idea what they're about to walk into. Down here to have a good time, they figure, Why not give poker a try? After all, how different can it be from the home games they've played their whole lives? Luck. All the luck in the world isn't going to change things for these guys. They're simply overmatched. We're (the pros at the table) not playing together, but we're not playing against each other, either. It's like the Nature Channel. You don't see piranhas eating each other, do you?" - Mike from Rounders

"Look around the table. If you don't see a sucker, get up, because you're the sucker." - Amarillo Slim

"See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." - Stu Ungar

"You played that hand like a vegan." - Erick Lindgren to Daniel Negreanu

"It is better to make people think you are a bad poker player, then to play and remove all doubt. Don't play to impress, play to win." - Michael Gersitz

"Poker is a microcosm of all we admire and disdain about capitalism and democracy. It can be rough-hewn or polished, warm or cold, charitable and caring, or hard and impersonal, fickle and elusive, but ultimately it is fair, and right, and just." - Lou Krieger

"The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time." - General David Shoup

"Even Your Poker Face Is Ugly"

"No matter how much you may want to think of Holdem as a card game played by people, in many respects it is even more valid to think of it as a game about people that happens to be played with cards." - Phil Hellmuth

"All you need is a chip and a chair."

"Poker is alot like sex, everone thinks they are the best, but most don't have a clue what they are doing!" - Dutch Boyd

"Baseball is like a poker game. Nobody wants to quit when he's losing; nobody wants you to quit when you're ahead."

"I believe in poker the way I believe in the American Dream. Poker is good for you. It enriches the soul, sharpens the intellect, heals the spirit, and - when played well, nourishes the wallet." - Lou Krieger

"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." - Steven Wright

"It is easy to smile at an insult and pretend it's funny when the person insulting you is hosing you with money." -Alfred Alvarez

"There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere and all that, who did not know the meaning of a flush. It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." - Mark Twain

"I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." - Phil Helmuth

"You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." - Phil Ivey

"You can shear a sheep many times, but you can skin it only once." - Amarillo Slim

Read more:

• Poker Hand Names
• Texas Hold'em Rules
• Common Beginner Mistakes
• Compare Online Poker Rooms

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